The Agreement
by pandaspite
Summary: It was really simple. They agreed to help each other. Jean helps her with her training and she helps him to get closer to Mikasa. What they didn't know was that war makes everything complicated. Jean/OC (After what seemed like an eternity she gave him a scornful look. "You are a sadly pathetic guy, you know that, right?" "That I am.")
1. Chapter 1

**THE AGREEMENT**

**CHAPTER ONE**

After seeing Keith Shadish ugly face for the first time, she decided that titans couldn't look so much worse.

His demeanour was strict and frightening, the circles around his eyes dark and deep, worn out from staring too long into rookies' souls. But the biggest problem was that he hated her.

He thought that she was weak. She saw it in his eyes, every time he glanced at her. He didn't even bother to look at her fully. She wondered if he even knew her name.

"Faster!" he shouted somewhere far ahead. "The ones who can't keep up are the easiest preys!"

The 104th Trainees Squad ran even faster than before in the rain. Footsteps squelched around her on the dead fallen leaves.

_Keep going_, she thought breathing harshly as cloaked figures passed her. She was soaking wet with mixture of sweat and rain, feeling muscles she didn't know she possessed.

One of the figures crashed into her, making her slip immediately. She tried to stop the fall with her hands, but the pang of pain in her wrists made her lose her hold and she crashed into the wet ground.

The guy didn't help her up. He didn't even look back.

More people passed, most of them looking straight ahead, pretending to not notice her. Others gave her a look of pity, but no one bothered to help her up.

She tried to get up on her own, but the pain in her wrist made it impossible to push herself up with the weight of her back. She fell back again, now her whole body covered in mud and leaves.

_She's never going to pass. Shadish is right. She is weak. An easy prey…_

In that second someone grabbed into her bag and pulled her up with it. Recovering from her surprise she heard his low voice muttering in exhaustion.

"Come on, Kalmbach. Keep running. And don't slip again."

"Reiner…" she said, but he already ran ahead. She stared after him, the words dying on her lips.

"Run, Amy" whispered Armin out of breath as he passed her.

And she kept running. 

* * *

The dinner has already started, but they were still sitting outside on the stairs. Armin looked deep in thought, hugging his legs close to himself, resting his head on the top of his knees. They've been sitting in silence for a while now, but it was a comfortable one. Long minutes passed before Armin decided to break it.

"I don't believe that he hates you."

"Hmm?" she asked, escaping her train of thoughts, looking up to meet his blue eyes. _It was so blue._

It was a saddening thought, that his eyes were prettier, than her pale grey ones.

"Shadish" he explained. "He might just see you as a bigger challenge."

"Somehow I doubt that" Amy muttered. "I'm more of a lost cause than a challenge."

Armin scowled at her. "Don't belittle yourself. You are not a lost cause."

She chuckled bitterly. "Yeah, right. Have you happened to see what I've managed to accomplish in the past few days? If Reiner didn't pick me up that one night, I would have been put on a cart long ago."

"I would've helped you up too, Amy."

"That's not the point! I shouldn't depend on anyone. And it's only a training now, how many people do you think will help me up, when there are titans nearby?"

Armin opened his mouth to say something, but closed it just as quickly. It was enough answer for her.

_She's dead meat._

"Listen" he tried again. "Maybe endurance is not you strength, but you must be great at something. You just have to figure out what it is."

"Well… I'm pretty handy with the blades I guess" she muttered. "But so is everyone else. I'm nowhere near the top ten."

Armin looked thoughtful before answering her.

"You not a lesser person, just because there are people who are better at something. If it makes you feel better, I probably won't be in the top ten either."

Amy felt confused. "How can you be so casual about it? If we are not the best, the military police is out of question. I barely manage to overrun someone my age, what chances do I have against a Titan? I might as well just quit then. At least I'm not putting myself intentionally in danger.

"Then why did you join?"

"Well, it's not like I care about other people's opinion on me, but my caretaker didn't want to hear about me, being labelled as a coward" she said and snorted. "At least that's what she _said_. I'm sure under the facade she couldn't wait to get rid of me."

"I'm sorry."

"Meh" Amy shrugged. "It doesn't matter now. And what about you? Any evil person forcing you to fight _glorious_ battles?"

"Not really… We always wanted this, the three of us. Eren, Mikasa and I. I don't know what I would do without them… they are my family you see."

Armin had a faraway look in his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips, thinking of his friends. Amy couldn't help the light pang of jealousy in her heart. _She had no one._

"We will be joining the Scouting Legion" finished Armin.

There was a long silence before Amy found her voice.

"Are you actually serious…? I mean I understand Mikasa and even Eren, but…"

The words left her mouth as soon as she thought them. When she realized what she was saying she flushed in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry... it sounded better in my head. But aren't you way too clever for that death wish?"

He smiled at the compliment and shrugged. "It's more complicated than that. And I couldn't live with myself knowing that I could have done something to prevent bad happenings to my friends."

She nodded. "I understand." They sat in silence for a while. "Are titans really that horrible?"

"You have never seen one before, have you?" he smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

She shook her head. "No. But I heard Eren speaking about them last night. He was really… passionate about the subject."

"He is haunted by memories that are better to remain forgotten. Please understand that it's a hard topic for all of us, but especially for him."

"I won't bring it up."

"Thank you" Armin said and stood up to brush off the dirt from his trousers. "Listen, why don't we go inside? Dinner is almost over. You could sit with us if you would like."

Amy stood up too and smiled down at him._ Why was she so tall?_ "I would like that."

Armin satisfied with the answer changed to a lighter tone.

"Let's hope Sasha didn't devour everything. 

* * *

The dinner was dry bread with water that tasted like iron. It wasn't much, but she didn't have appetite for weeks. She slowly bit into the small piece of bread, crumbs silently hitting the table. It actually crackled between her teeth.

"How are we supposed to stay strong eating this food?" she asked from no one in particular.

Mikasa either ignored her, or was just so deep in thoughts that her word didn't reach her ear. Eren was the same. He just stared ahead, not touching his food. Sasha thought it was free game, but when she went to take his bread Mikasa gave her a glare, which made her turn right back. It was the most expression she ever saw on the girl's face.

Amy wondered sometimes if she had a soul.

Armin gulped down his drink before answering her. "We have to stay strong, but we cannot depend on the food. On bigger expeditions these things turn sour quickly. I read once, that on some occasion starvation took more people than the fighting itself."

The bread suddenly tasted better in her mouth.

"But that doesn't mean, you don't have to eat, Eren" said Mikasa with a hint of worry in her voice. "Just a few bites."

"Does it matter?" he all but whispered. "It won't change the fact that I'm the only one who can't use the freaking 3DGM! I only have one more day… I'm going to get kicked out…"

"Not eating won't help you either. Please, Eren, just-"

Eren snapped and slammed the bread down the table. "Stop nagging me, Mikasa! Don't you get it? I can't do it! It was all for nothing… how am I going to kill titans, without becoming a soldier? Am I going to hoe them to death?"

"I know how you are feeling" Amy muttered. Eren seemed to have noticed her for the first time sitting there.

"Amy Kalm…" he trailed of.

"Kalmbach" she helped him.

"Yeah,_ Kalmbach_. Do you have any problems with it?"

Amy made an apologizing face. "Sorry to disappoint you."

Eren sighed in defeat and started to eat his bread.

She turned to see one of the trainees watching her. _Jean_, she recalled. She frowned as she ran a hand over the back of her neck. He whispered something to the freckled boy sitting next to him, who whispered back, looking at her now and then, during their conversation.

_Great._

Apparently Jean Kirschtein had been the kind one to push her during their running session in the rain, if Armin's observation was right. Of course he didn't even know he shoved her to the ground. Or maybe he did. _Fucking Kirschtein with his fucking hair._

Shooting one last hate filled glance at the brown haired boy, she turned back to her bread – or what was left of it – and imagined it was one of the delicious baked loafs that her caretaker loved to make. 

* * *

"It's a perfect plan, I tell you, Marco" Jean whispered, not even trying to hide his excitement. "Everything is given! She's her friend –"

"I don't think that sitting next to her means, that Mikasa is her friend" Marco interrupted, scratching his nose. "Besides I didn't even see them talk. She is Armin's friend the most, I think."

Jean waved his reasoning off. "She is her friend. Or at least she knows her."

"I still don't see how Amy's involvement is going to improve your chances with Mikasa."

Jean picked his bread and tore a small piece down, so he had enough crumbs to work with He placed four pieces to one side, and held one between his fingers. "This is me" he explained, pointing at the lonely crumb in his hand. "And these" he looked at the separated ones "are them."

"Great strategic skills."

"Funny. Now, before this lucky constellation, there was no way I could have just walked up to them, since Eren hates my guts and Armin is not a strong enough reason."

"Why don't you just walk up and talk with Mikasa, herself?"

"It's not how it works" Jean countered quickly, before continuing. "So. What do I get if I befriend the Kalmbach girl?"

"A friend?" Marco guessed.

"No! A _reason_. Don't you see? If we get on like a house on fire, I will be spending my time with Mikasa very soon."

Marco found himself circling one hand as he tried to find the right words. "Isn't that a bit unfair with Amy?"

Jean shrugged. "Oh, come on, who cares. It's not like she will be in physical pain, just by having a small chat with me, now and then. And after graduation we will go on our separate ways. There is no way she will be in top ten and get into the Military Police. She doesn't exceed in anything from what I've seen. Not like Mikasa…"

"I still don't like it" Marco said a bit louder than usual, trying to get Jean's attention, who was too busy ogling the black haired girl.

"It will work" he said, sure of himself. "As I told you, this plan is perfect. We just have to wait, until she or the others leave, to get her alone. She won't be able to resist my charm, you will see."

_It still isn't right_, thought Marco, but kept his opinion to himself.

Jean was full and as he sat there, the excitement slowly fading, exhaustion began to creep over him He kept his eyes on Amy this time, following her hands as she waved them around, talking about something with Armin, he didn't hear. It was rather hypnotizing, watching her hands, move in the air with graceful movements. His elbows rested on the table, holding his chin in his hand as he promptly fell asleep.

"Oi, Jean" said Marco and he came awake with a start. He was a bit confused at first, taking in the environment: wooden tables, finished plates, people leaving… _People leaving_!

"I'm awake" he said reassuring rather himself and abruptly stood up, kicking his chair back in the haste movement.

Luckily Amy was still sitting in her place, being nagged by Sasha for her last piece.

He grinned and picked up his own leftovers. _Perfect._ He patted Marco on the shoulders and with secure steps he walked up to the two girls, wearing his most charming smile.

"Hey, Sasha!" he said waving the peace of food in front of her. "Fetch!"

He threw the bread up in the air and the girl caught it in no time like a true predator. Now that she was out of the picture, he sat down in front of Amy and flashed her a winning smile.

He tilted his head one side and regarded her closely, his thoughts wandering away. She wasn't that bad actually, her dirty blonde hair coming loose from her ponytail she usually wore. She was quite tall, maybe the same height as him, which sadly took away the opportunity to look down on her if occasion arises. With a simple blink he brought his mind back to the present.

She just looked at him in silence, waiting for him to talk. His face started to hurt a bit, from his ear to ear grin, but she didn't even smile back, just narrowed her eyes slightly.

_Not a good start._

"Sooo..." he trailed off. "Amy, right?"

"Right."

Silence.

"Sooo…" he tried again, the perfect plan in his mind slowly collapsing. _Think, think, think! _"I'm Jean."

"I know."

Silence.

"Great."

_This shouldn't be happening!_

"Anything else…?" she drawled, raising a single eyebrow, slightly, but enough to mock him.

_Alright Jean, get it together._

"How is your… - _think of something! _– …training going?

Amy eyes flashed dangerously and the most ironic smile she could manage crawled up on her face. "Ah, it's going so well, thanks for asking." She suddenly stood up, frightening him, as she leaned closer to his face. "_Running _is my _favourite. _My skin is soft and flawless thanks for all that mud, you asshole."

With that she took the remaining piece of her bread and started to leave. He reacted quickly, not really knowing what's going on, but stood up and ran after her.

"Wait!"

The girl stopped and turned back to him, giving him a last chance to explain what he wanted. He knew there was no place for bluff anymore.

"Thanks" he muttered as he caught up with her. "Although I have no freaking idea what you are talking about, I'm _begging_ for your forgiveness, okay? I need your help."

She looked at him sceptically. "And why should I help you?"

Jean tried smiling charmingly again. "Because you are so nice…?"

Amy shook her head unaffected. "Nah. Nice try though. What's in it for me?"

"How about a favourable agreement on both sides? You help me, I help you and in end everyone's happy."

She regarded him suspiciously, probably wondering if there was a catch. "All right. Let's assume that I agree to help you. What do you want?"

He explained his plan to her, without crumbs this time. She listened to him silently, not interrupting him even once. He wasn't sure if her silence meant good or bad, but the fact that she didn't start protesting in the beginning was a good sign. After he finished talking he looked at her expectedly, waiting for an answer. She looked thoughtful, wrinkling the skin between her eyebrows from time to time.

After what seemed like an eternity she gave him a scornful look.

"You are a sadly pathetic guy, you know that right?"

"That I am."

"Okay, I will help you conquer Mikasa's heart. But let's just clear some things first. One, if for some _unbelievable_ reason she rejects you it's not my fault. I'm only the gate between you two. Second, don't think that this enjoys priority. I won't throw away everything that I'm doing, just to organize you some little dates. But" she said quickly, when he tried to interrupt "I will do my best in any other time."

Jean nodded. "Sounds fair to me."

"_If I_ get my part of the deal."

_It's going to be bad, isn't it._

"And what that might be?" he enquired.

"You have to help me in my training."

Jean thought about it for a few second and nodded again. _He could manage that_. "Which part?"

Amy seemed to wear a small, but real smile for the first time. "Well, lucky for you, I suck at everything."

"And what exactly should I do? Give you tips? Because I'm not that great at explaining things… just pay attention to Shadish I guess."

"Oh, you didn't really think that I would help you for a few tips, did you? I need someone to train _with_. Think of it as our _bonding time_!" she said feigning excitement. "I'm sure Mikasa will be jealous of our _friendship_."

Jean thought through everything again in his head. _Was it really worth it?_

After a few seconds he flashed her a matching fake smile and reached towards her hand.

"Deal?" he asked.

"Deal" she answered and they shook hands. 

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! I hope you liked this chapter. Criticism is always welcomed. English is not my native language, so please feel free to correct my grammar!**

**One of my favourite characters is Jean and I think he doesn't get enough love. I hope no one is too OOC and my OC isn't leaning towards a Mary Sue. Please review and share your opinion with me. :) It would really mean a lot.**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

"You know it's a good thing that no one saw that punch, because it would be your free ticket to the Wasteland."

Amy felt the sweat running down her back as she planted her fist in his shoulder. Jean wasn't so fast this time, but he moved to the side, just enough so the attack only grazed him. He laughed at her and she glared at him.

"You are hopeless."

The next punch went towards his chin. He noticed too late that is was feint, her second punch landing in his gut, expelling the last bit of choked air from his empty belly.

It was damn good shot. Jean was surprised to notice the fair amount of pain in his gut, but thanks to previously pairing up with Reiner – _big mistake _– Jean knew how to deal with it.

"Not bad" he said breathlessly, failing to sound as if the punch didn't affect him. She didn't mock him though, looking down at her fist in amazement. When he met her eyes, he saw a glint of excitement burning in it.

"Let's do this again!"

Her hits were stronger and more desperate as the time passed, but as her determination grew, her punches became less accurate therefor easily avoidable. After her forth missed attempt he stopped her punch in mid-air, closing his palm around her fist.

"What?" she asked irritably, trying to yank her hand back, but he held her like a vice.

"You technique sucks, that's what. You haven't been able to touch me once in the last few minutes."

"I'm trying!" she snapped at him, finally escaping his grip, shaking her hand a few times. He gave her an annoyed look as she massaged her sore fingers.

"Listen, Kalmbach, I'm trying to help you here, so I would appreciate if you wouldn't bitch about every damn criticism I give you."

The glare she gave him only made him glare back harder. They looked at each other; both of them having colourful wishes on their tongues, but neither said anything. Much to Jean's satisfaction Kalmbach was the first one to give up, quitting their staring match.

He always called her that. _Kalmbach_. Amy simply didn't fit her. It was a pretty and feminine name and to be honest she was neither. The resident scowl that usually sat on her face gave her an unfriendly and unapproachable air.

_No wonder she had no friends._

"Sorry" she muttered finally, not meeting his eyes. Jean decided to accept it and nodded.

"Just don't make it a habit" he said, but couldn't help adding: "It's annoying."

She rewarded him with another hard look, but remained silent. And Jean was thankful for that.

"I think I got you in the mood to hit me, so let's discuss your shitty technique, shall we?"

* * *

She had to admit; training with Jean was really something. Although he was really blunt when it came to pointing out her faults, he did have a flair for teaching. Even his jerk façade and criticizing nature motivated her somehow. She wanted to believe that she didn't care about his opinion, but after training with him for a few weeks, deep inside, she hoped for his approval. She wanted to prove her worth to him.

Of course, he remained unflattered as ever.

Her part of the deal involved much less muscle strain. It wasn't too complicated. She mostly had to sit with the trio during dinners and pair up with Mikasa from time to time. That second part was one of Jean's newest ideas. If she practised with her, he had the perfect reason to join them. It became quite obvious to everyone that Jean became her personal trainer, so there couldn't be any wonder why he insisted on correcting her movements even if she was paired up with someone else.

Also it was a great time to show off his skills. Not that Mikasa cared really. And although Amy enjoyed watching him trying to impress her and failing at it, she felt a little bad for him.

It was one of the reasons why she didn't break the obvious to him. Jean, who was a perfect observer when it came to training, seemed to be completely oblivious to Mikasa's non-existent feelings towards him. _Maybe if he was a head shorter and named Eren._

It would also hold the possibility of him giving up on his crush, therefor breaking their deal with Amy.

She just had to make sure that his infatuation with Mikasa didn't disappear. And fueling that fire wasn't a challenge.

Commenting here and there, pointing out things nonchalantly, like how beautiful the girl's hair was made Jean forgot his doubts immediately. She knew she should feel a little bit of guilt for encouraging him like that, but she didn't. She couldn't lose the luxury of him helping her, even if it cost her dishonesty.

Marco seemed to see through her intentions, but she got away with a few disapproving look. She knew that the boy was aware of Jean's unrequited affection, not wanting Amy to lead him on, but for some reason he didn't confront her about it. She concluded that he either tried to avoid arguments or understood her reasons. The second one seemed unlikely, since she never admitted these things out loud, but Marco looked like a clever guy. Not clever as Armin, but he was a good judge of others.

It was hard to believe that he and Jean had such a close friendship. On her worse days, she often asked him how he could stand Jean. Marco's reply was always the same. A genuine smile appeared on his face and said:

"Jean is a really good person, once you get to know him."

She somehow found that hard to believe.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys!**

**Thanks for reading! I know this was really short, but I don't have any time to write, thanks to the university, but I wanted to update anyway. I hope you like it :) And if you find any grammar mistakes, please feel free to correct them. English is not my native language.**

**Also, LovelyLina96 and rac, thank you for the lovely reviews! It really motivates me to continue this, so please don't forget to share your thoughts with me. :) I hope nobody is too OOC or a Mary Sue.**

**I will try to update soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Whenever Mikasa was close, Jean seemed to turn into a completely different person. His change was an interesting process; how his confident demeanour perished without a trace, being replaced by a blabbering moron.

Amy found it quite amusing to watch. The fact that even if he had physical skills he lacked social ones was something to gloat over. _At least I don't lack both, _he grunted at her once.

Unfortunately after every failed attempt Jean turned into grumpy and fractious teenager who was irritating and hard to handle. Marco somehow always managed to brighten him up, but Amy decided to stay away from his moody self. After the first week it was a drama she wasn't interested in the least, and pissing off Jean would have meant needing to find a way to make up to him.

He wasn't really resentful, but he had a nasty habit of bringing up resolved arguments whenever he needed an upper hand. However it was hard to stay silent, when Jean was instantly ditched after his miserably shy "hello".

As Mikasa ran after her friends, leaving a self-conscious Kirschtein behind Amy couldn't help commenting.

"You are a heartthrob."

Jean shot her a murderous look, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks.

"Shut up." He looked at the disappearing form of Mikasa once more, before adding. "It's harder than it looks."

"Oh, I'm sure" she muttered under her breath, but Jean heard it anyway.

"It is!" he snapped at her, his temper already worsening after the unavailing attempt. Amy groaned inwardly before she turned to face him.

"Okay, okay!" she tried soothingly, putting her hands up in air. "I believe you."

Jean wasn't satisfied with her answers and as she started to leave he roughly grabbed her arm, stopping her in mid-step.

It was another bad habit of him. Whenever he lost his temper he became unaware of his actions. He never hurt her, but his grip held an uncomfortable strength and Amy hated it.

She looked at her arm, before angrily snatching it back, giving him a loathsome glare.

"What the hell are you doing?" she all but spat at him. Jean realizing what he was doing quickly hid his culprit hand behind his back, having the decency to look a bit guilty.

"Sorry" he mumbled quickly before regaining his tone. "I wasn't finished."

"Well, I was" she said, still irked, crossing her arms across her chest.

"_Well_, I don't care. You should be helping me, not mocking me."

"As if you didn't do the same to me."

"It's not the same."

"It's the same."

"It's not! What I'm saying during training has a motivational purpose. Shadish is doing the exact same thing."

"What I'm saying is motivational too. It doesn't seem to help you though."

"Oh, go and fuck yourself" he said with finality and left.

_No training for today either,_ she thought bitterly before leaving as well. 

* * *

He was angry at first. Angry with her, with Eren for having such a close relationship with Mikasa without even trying, but mostly angry with himself.

He was ridiculous. Kalmbach was right. It didn't matter how many times he tried to initiate conversation with the black haired girl or that he had saw her every day for who knows how long, his mind always turned into a mush whenever she was around. All the pep talk beforehand with Marco turned out pointless when it came to the real thing.

Jean glared at his boots as he pulled them off and tossed them on the floor. He ignored Marco's concerned look and climbed up to his bed. He huffed until he found a comfortable position, turned on his stomach and buried his face into his pillow.

When Marco voiced his thoughts Jean groaned into the feathers.

"I'm fine" he muttered, hoping that his friend would drop the subject.

He didn't.

"I wouldn't worry about if I were you. You had worse fights before."

"I don't know what you are talking about" he said in feigned incomprehension and turned on his other side.

_He wasn't worried_, he thought. But he did feel something strange. Expecting only relief and tranquillity, guilt was an unwelcomed guest, but present nevertheless. It wasn't the consuming type though. He _knew_ what he said was right. But not helping her train again may have been a bit too much.

Not that he didn't deserve some days off. He actually felt quite relaxed without her constant present. But since he assured her that he wasn't going to help her any further until she starts doing her part. Their last joint training was nine days ago.

Now that he thought about it, Kalmbach commented here and there, in a surprisingly fair-spoken manner, that if he wouldn't mind she would wish to continue their lessons. However the last week had been a rough one and he always found an excuse to say no.

And in the last few days she didn't even bother asking. She hadn't said but a few words to him, before disappearing through the course of the day. He once saw her discoursing something _fucking_ Yeager, before he showed her a movement, which in some way resembled the fighting style of Annie. And the fact that it took Kalmbach a week to find a replacement for him, and that replacement was Eren Yeager pissed him off to no end.

_She was a traitor._

He was about to set up his bristles, when a smelly sock landed near his head.

"What the hell, Marco?" he grimaced, picking up the malodorous piece of clothing between his forefinger and thumb, removing it from his bed, faster than the speed of light.

"You were ignoring me" he replied casually, catching the flying sock, aimed at his head in mid-air.

"This is disgusting!"

"I bet yours smell ten times worse."

Jean hearing the hint of playfulness in his voice sat up in his bed and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Is that a challenge that I hear?"

Marco pulled off his other sock and threw it straight to Jean's face.

"It might be."

Things got pretty chaotic after that. Marco had a good aim, but Jean had quick reflexes. They managed to dodge each other's throw, without leaving their own bed, so Jean laughed triumphantly when his sock hit its target. Marco pulled a face, as he brushed it off, from his forehead.

"All right, you win. This is the most disgusting thing I've ever smelt." He sniffed it again and imitated puking after.

Jean laughed again. "It's not disgusting. It's my secret weapon!"

"Let's hope that the titans spit you out after smelling that."

"Not that we will ever meet one" added Jean, jumping off his bed, before launching at Marco's. The bed creaked under their weight, both of the boys cringing at the voice. After settling comfortably Jean put his arm around the freckled boy enthusiastically.

"We will live a long and peaceful life inside the walls. Maybe even play some card games the king himself!"

Marco gazed dreamily. "The king! I can't wait to meet him… what do you think he will be like?"

Jean shrugged. "I dunno. Fat, I guess with all that money."

"I mean, do you think he is a good king?"

Jean thought about it for a bit. "I'm not sure… no. Considering all the starvation and poverty he is probably a shitty one."

After a long silence Marco talked.

"Maybe we could steal all his socks as a punishment."

Jean scratched his chin. "I always pegged him as a stocking guy."

They both snickered at that. 

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys!**

**Thanks for reading! It's another short chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless. These chapters are still kind of prologue-ish, the real fun will begin when the big guys appear. I'm trying to establish the base of their ****relationships in these small insights (hence the fast-paced time-travelling). They are fun, but a bit difficult to write, so I hope nobody is too OOC.**

As always, English is not my native language, so grammar mistakes are most probable; feel free to correct them!

And dear Carmen, rac and Agent Pumpkin, thank you for your kind reviews! They really brightened my day. :)

Whether you are reviewing or not, I hope you have fun reading this, as much as I had writing it. Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

.

.

When the morning came he didn't want to wake up. Staying in bed the whole day was really hard to resist, but he knew that if he didn't show up at the morning run, eventually Shadis would kick his ass out of the room and make his day a living hell.

The weather had been pretty bad in the past few days, raining randomly and he managed to get a nasty cold. His nose was running faster than Connie himself and his pale blue handkerchief was a disgusting mess by now. Marco suggested that maybe washing it would solve the problem, but Jean rather not touched the piece of cloth anymore. He chose suffering.

Also, staying in bed would have been a perfect excuse to put off communicating with Kalmbach. He didn't want to talk to her nor see her. He was still angry with her, but with the unwanted guilty feeling here and there made him angry with himself as well.

Playing for time until the last minutes he eventually crawled out of the comfortable bed. As he walked sluggishly to the eating area his mind was looking for excuses why he shouldn't initiate conversation with the blond girl. His own sneeze interrupted his thoughts.

It was well past breakfast time and all the food have been pretty much devoured. The cadets were still chatting at their tables, already finished eating, waiting for the former commander to arrive.

He walked towards the table where usually the few days old loafs could be found, hoping to find some heels, but luck was not on his side that day. Even the threadbare basket was missing. Confused, he looked around and his search proved to be a short one. The basket was in front of Sasha, who picked up the last pieces of crumbs from the button, before placing them in her mouth. She seemed to feel the boy's glare and sent him an apologetic look.

Jean took a deep sigh and tried to swallow his annoyance. First she was quite amusing with her pig-like appetite, but now he just found it irritating.

_Great. He is not only sick, but hungry as well._

Cursing inaudibly under his breath he plodded to his usual table, only to find that Marco wasn't alone. Kalmbach was sitting next to him, seemingly having a cheerful conversation since they were both smiling.

_Was she sick too? _He wondered, eyeing the flesh pulling on the corners of her mouth. He didn't really know where to put it, whether it was appealing or unpleasant.

Despite this, he still didn't want to talk to her. Shooting Marco an accusing look, as if it was his fault that she was still hanging around he sat down loudly, deliberately announcing his presence.

Marco stopped in mid-sentence and both of them turned to him looking startled.

"Morning" said Kalmbach with a small smile. It was definitely weird. He couldn't help feeling the suspicion creeping up on his back. With slightly narrowed eyes he muttered rudely:

"What do you want?"

Her smile faded as she looked away. She almost looked as if he had somehow _hurt_ her.

_What the hell is wrong with her?_

He decidedly ignored Marco's reproachful look, not feeling like getting an unsaid lecture. When she looked at Kalmbach again she already composed herself.

"I, uh…" she started slowly, trying to find the right words, "I saw that you weren't here and thought that maybe you might be hungry later, so… here".

As she finished her sentence a full, untouched loaf appeared in her hands. She put it carefully in front of him on the table. When he didn't say anything she continued.

"I also wanted to get you some hot water with lemon, but it was already gone when I got here… it would be cold by now anyway."

Jean looked at the loaf she had presented him, knowing fully its true meaning.

It was a peace offering.

It wasn't an unusual procedure between them. Neither of them willed to apologize after an argument, so they just acted as if nothing happened or in worse cases, gifted each other with uncustomary kindness. Jean wondered if things were actually pretty bad between them if she went the second option.

Deep in thoughts, he silently bit into the loaf, chewing through the dry crust before swallowing it. His stomach grumbled happily as he continued to fuel it, contemplating the carvings on the wooden tables. As he looked closer, the carved lines turned into names.

„_Zoë Hange and the Annoying Midget were here"_

The second name was crossed out repeatedly, but it was still readable.

"It was really nice of you" said Marco pointedly, which made Jean look up.

"Thanks" Jean muttered automatically.

"Yeah." She gave him a tight smile. " You look like shit by the way."

_Ah, there she is._

"Charming as always, aren't you Kalmbach?"

"I try."

He gave thumbs up and started to munch on his loaf again. After eating for a while he decided to talk again, his mouth full with chewed food.

"So did you wamp to talk about sumtin'?"

Kalmbach wrinkled her nose in disgust, before answering. "Yeah. About Mikasa."

It was his trigger word. He swallowed with a big gulp and wiped the saliva around his mouth.

"What about her?"

"Well, you can't talk with her for five seconds before you look like you've been thrown into the sun, so I started to think; why it is so hard for you to accomplish. And stop giving me that look, because I'm not looking for an argument."

Jean smoothed out his expression. "And?"

"_And_, I think that your problem is that you are talking to _Mikasa_."

Jean feigned surprise. "No shit!"

Kalmbach gave him a slightly irritated look. "That's not what I meant. What I'm saying is that if you would talk to her as if she was someone else, your problem would disappear."

Jean sat in silence for a few moments. "Like who?"

Kalmbach shrugged. "I don't know. Anyone you can talk to. But if you really want an example talk to her as if she was me."

"You want me to insult her?!"

"No you idiot" she said kicking his shin under the table, causing him to yelp and kick back. She was ready to kick him again, even harder, when Marco thought it might be wise to step in.

"So, tell me Amy, what did you have in mind?"

His plan seemed to work, since no voice of pain left Jean's mouth after that. With glare Kalmbach crossed her arms and continued.

"Just don't stress over it" she said to Marco, glancing at Jean while saying that. "If you think that she is me, you won't worry about her judging you and you could act like yourself. Which leads us to another problem; how to make sure that Mikasa never finds out what an ass you really are."

Jean glared at her and Keith Shadis chose that moment to arrive.

The chatting immediately stopped and the room fell into a pregnant silence. Jean cringed as Shadis' wet boots noisily squelched on the wooden floor. His expression was rock hard, loyal to himself and Jean seriously doubted that he was physically able to smile.

"Cadets!"

Everyone stood up, chairs squeaking behind them, fists clenched to their heart. Their posture was straight, their faces emotionless as they were waiting for him to continue.

"Get ready for running laps today! I want everyone to be outside by ten."

A mutual exasperated groan left their mouths.

"But it's raining!" Sasha whined.

Shadis gave her a hard look. "Blouse, double the laps."

Sasha groaned again, already feeling phantom pain in her thighs.

At last he turned to Jean.

"Kirschtein, you are coming with me."

* * *

.

.

As he followed Shadis through the training grounds, Jean felt an uncomfortable know forming in his throat. He tried to remember if he had done anything wrong recently, looking through his memories, but he couldn't find anything troublesome.

Shadis made a quick turn and started walking towards a wooden lodge which Jean recognized as the trainers living quarters. Wiping his hands on his trousers he stepped over the threshold, following him into a narrow room. He was surprised to see that they were living in the same condition as the trainees did.

After closing the door behind him the wind's whooshing grew quiet, leaving the two of them in tense silence.

"This way" said the elder one and entered another door, pushing it open with a creek. His venous hand held it open for Jean, beckoning with his other one to speed up.

Jean quickly obeyed and slipped through the door frame. Not really knowing what to do he stood there awkwardly, until Shadis told him to sit down.

"So, Kirschtein" he said after taking his seat as well, breaking the pregnant silence. Jean's eyes shot up from his lap, his eyes slightly widening at the rusty voice. "I wanted to talk to you for a while now."

Jean chose his words carefully. "Have I done anything wrong, sir?"

Relief washed over him when Shadis shook his head. "No. Actually this matter isn't even really about you."

Jean waited for him to elaborate.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer them honestly. Do you think you can manage that, cadet?"

Jean getting more confused by every moment nodded.

"Yes, sir."

"Good" he said shortly. "We will start right away. You know Amy Kalmbach, right?"

_Of course I do, you moron-_he wanted to say. _I know everyone here._

"Yes, sir" he said instead.

"I see" he nodded and after a small search Shadis picked up a stash of paper and comfortably leaned back in his chair. "Thoughts?"

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys!**

** Thanks for reading!****Sorry for the long break. University exams are nasty creatures,but after next week I will have a lot more time on my hands.****As usual, English is not my first language, so Grammar-Nazis are most welcomed!**

**Also, scottedog43 and zara, thank you for your encouraging words! I really appreciate it.:)**

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. After this chapter, things will really start happening.**

**Penny for your thoughts!**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

"Thoughts? Could you be a little bit more specific, sir?"

Shadis gave him a look. "Obviously I didn't invite you here to chat about her favourite colour. You've been training with her for weeks-"

"Actually the last week had been kinda' off, sir" Jean interrupted.

"Nevertheless you've trained with her for three month now, which is more than enough time to view her progress."

"No offence, but isn't that your job, sir?"

"I drew conclusion myself, but two heads are better than one. And while you have to pay attention to only the two of you, I have to watch over three hundred. So I would appreciate if you would just answer the question instead of giving me a damn headache."

Jean wasn't really fond of lying. Considering himself an honest kind of guy false words usually tasted foul in his mouth. He didn't care that others called him jerk or insensitive because of this. It wasn't his problem if someone couldn't handle the truth, whether it was harsh or not.

Surprisingly enough, despite his previous beliefs he really did consider that option. He was even worse liar under pressure and Shadis murder stare didn't help him either. Nevertheless, he couldn't help wondering;

_Should I lie about her? __For__ her…?_

"_Which leads us to another problem; how to make sure that Mikasa never finds out what an ass you really are."  
…_

_No way._

"She's bad" he finally said.

Shadis scribbled down something on his paper before indicating with his hand for him to continue.

"How so?"

_The extra laps Shadis will give her for this won't hurt her_ – he thought before words started to pour out of his mouth.

"She's not particularly good at anything. And by this I don't mean that she's alright, but doesn't excel in anything, no. She's bad, but in some things she is less bad than in others."

Shadis nodded, the black pen moving restlessly on the paper. "Go on."

"Her usage of 3D Maneuvering Gear is so-so, her melee fighting skills are absolutely crap, endurance zero. Probably she's most handy with the blades, but she's still years away from Mikasa or anyone good in the camp."

As the words left his mouth he had the decency to feel a bit guilty, but it didn't make it less true. She w_as_ bad. Even if she really tried she wasn't a soldier.

The older man seemed deep in thought as he wrote down the boy's words. When he finished writing he searched for another paper and started writing again.

"You really don't like her, huh" he muttered under his breath, causing Jean to jerk up his head.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Actually in the deep silence, he heard Shadis' words clearly.

"I just don't see the point of lying, sir."

Shadis snorted. "You are the first. No one wanted to badmouth others, so they covered their friends' faults up with sugar. Even your big friend, Bott tried to talk about how nice that other kid was with others and even though he wasn't the best in the physical department he had a great sense of humour. Full of bullshit really, so you are refreshing."

Jean didn't know if he should feel offended on Marco's behalf or feel surprised. His friend never mentioned anything about this.

"Marco was here?"

"He didn't tell you because I told him not to. And before you get your panties in a twist, it wasn't just you; he wasn't supposed to tell anyone."

Jean wasn't satisfied with the answer.

"Why?"

"Stop being so damn curious and shut your mouth. I can't hear my thoughts."

As he sat in silence Jean realized that Shadis only forced himself to not act like a complete douche when he wanted something. Something in connection with Kalmbach.

"Sir…"

"Didn't I tell you to keep quiet" came the gruff answer.

"Sir, why are you so interested in Kalmbach? She's not in trouble, right?"

The words Shadis said after a long silence only confirmed his assumptions.

"Thank you for your cooperation, you can leave now."

"But…"

"That will be all. Ah, and Kirschtein?"

"Yes?"

"You don't get to skip training. Join the others and do the same amount as them."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Avoiding Kalmbach was much easier than he had anticipated. Even when their ways crossed, she handled him with a simple nod, before following that _git's _shortblonde friend. Despite her hate towards humanity she got along pretty well with Arlert. He wasn't even sure if she had any other friend besides them. Or that if she even considered him as a friend.

_If she finds out what I said, I doubt that._

Not that it was his fault that she sucked. He only said the truth.

He found Marco lying on his bed writing something on a yellowish paper. His pell-mell handwriting was easily recognizable, but difficult to decipher.

"Oi, Marco" he said, before sitting down on the ground to be at the same level as him. "What are you up to?"

Marco threw him a small smile, before he turned back to his work. "I'm writing to my parents."

"Ah" Jean answered, realizing that he hadn't written anything in weeks. His mom must be freaking out by now.

_Crap, crap, crap._

"Eh, do you mind if I steal one of this?" he asked, waving a blank yellow paper as a flag.

"Nope. Go ahead."

"Thanks."

* * *

_Dear mom,_

_Sorry for not writing earlier. I totally forgot about it._

After a few seconds he crossed that out and started again.

_Dear mom,_

_I haven't heard from you for a while, so I thought that my letters might have gotten lost along the way._

_Nothing much changed, training is still hard, but I'm fine. There is a great chance that I will end up in the top ten, so get ready to celebrate! How about you cook some meat for dinner? I know it was always too expensive, but it turns out, that Marco's father works as a butcher and he said that if be both get into the top ten he will sell us a smaller pork for half the price. It's not much, but I know that it would mean the world to you if I'd get to try it, so here's the chance._

_If I don't get into top ten, it's because Shadis still hates my guts. If that's happens we will still celebrate though. I can't wait to get home._

_Miss you,_

_Jean_

* * *

Jean carefully put the letter in an envelope and addressed it. He placed it on the growing pile of messages. They got to send one in every two weeks.

When he walked back to his bed Marco was still fiddling with his own. He patiently waited until Marco finished the last lines, before breaking the silence.

"Say Marco… you haven't talked with Shadis by any chance in last few months, have you?"

His friend stiffened.

"Eh… why do you ask?"

"I had a chat with Shadis today as well. So, have you?"

"…Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me? I thought you trusted me."

Marco made a pained expression. "Come on, Jean, you know it's not that… Shadis made me promise to keep my mouth shut."

"And you actually kept that promise?" he asked bewildered.

His friend's ears grew pink as he averted his eyes. "Yes."

"Marco!"

"I'm sorry, okay? It's not that I didn't trust you or anything, but after he sent that poor boy away I felt really ashamed, because I think it was partly because what I said and-"

Jean's heart missed a beat, as he interrupted. "Wait, what? What do you mean, he sent him away?"

"I didn't want that to happen…" he muttered lowly, tracing his letter's edge with his finger. "I thought he was just asking a few question for the record, but in the end of the week he was gone…"

"Where did he go? What the hell are you talking about?"

Marco gathered his courage and looked into his friend's eyes. "He was writing a list… the same he's writing every half year. It's the list of people who are sent to… to the Wasteland. I… I got that boy to the Wasteland, Jean. I felt so ashamed. I couldn't possibly tell that to someone. I couldn't even look in the mirror, how could I've told you?"

.

.

.

_No._

_._

_._

_._

_No…_

"What did Shadis want, Jean? Did he ask about someone?"

When Jean looked at his friend, his expression mirrored Marco's.

"I did something terrible."

* * *

**A/N: Hey Guys! **

**Sorry for the long wait. This is a short one, but I hope you liked this chapter and the small twist. Things will start happening now, yay!**

**Thank you for the reviews Jo and Benji-0310, as always your insights really keeps me motivated. So if you have any criticism or an opinion that you would like to share, please tell me in a review! :)**

**As always, English is not my native language, so feel free to correct my grammar.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Quick note! I realized I've made a mistake in the previous chapter, though already corrected it. When Shadis said that he has to watch over twenty cadets I've meant **three hundred. **Two hundred and seventy graduated all together, so I figured, that thirty would fall out along the way. So whoops!

* * *

**CHAPTER 6**

"Remind me to never play Risk with you ever again" muttered Amy as Armin replaced her last two Garrison figures with his seven members of Survey Corps.

"Trost District is mine" declared Armin with a small smile. "I've won."

"This game sucks."

"You just need to pay more attention to the game otherwise you won't be able to predict my moves."

"You can't beat Armin in that game" commented Eren looking up from his book that he borrowed from the said boy.

"That's not true" he argued back.

"Oh, come on, I've only won against you once, and as it later turned out, only because you let me. "

"You said that you wouldn't play with me if you lose again."

"But that didn't mean I wanted to win out of pity! I can manage myself without you and Mikasa pestering me nonstop!"

Armin sighed tiredly. "Eren, we've already argued over this countless time. There is no need to bring it up again."

Before Eren could say his next words, which wouldn't have been in the name of treaty based on his expression, Amy intervened.

"Maybe you will find someone challenging enough at Recon Corps."

Armin shrugged it off.

"Anyway, now that you mention in, have you decided where to join after graduation?"

Amy chuckled drily. "You mean, if I actually graduate?"

"I'm sure you will!" said the boy encouragingly. " You've gotten a lot better in the last few weeks."

She hadn't realize how truly thirsty she had become for even a small positive acknowledgment until he said those words. Even if they were simple and it was his nature to act kind towards fellow cadets, they meant the world to her. Jean never complimented her once during the two months spent in sweat together, although she didn't really expect him to. Praising wouldn't have gotten her anywhere and trying to grow up to his expectation was motivating… but deep down she had hoped for a small "good job" or a pat on the shoulders. In the end she got neither, only having the wish that even if he didn't say it out loud he was pleased.

So for the first time in months with one of her true thankful smile appeared as a missed warmth settled in her chest.

"Thank you" she mumbled her last words barely audible. "Thank you so much."

Armin answered with a smile of himself. "For what?"

Amy shook her head, but the smile hadn't disappeared.

"Anyway, so where do you plan to join?"

Amy smile faltered a bit. "I really don't know. Military Police was a nice dream, but that's it. I don't really know much about the Scouting Legion or the Garrison, just the concretes. And that Jean was really against the first one."

"Jean is a dickhead" Eren declared in a harsh manner. "I don't understand why you even bother to look at him."

Amy shrugged. "Jean can be a prick, but he is good at what he does. But he's not that bad once you get know him" she echoed Marco's words. "And I can't be anything but thankful to him. Without his help I don't think I would be here."

"He's still a dickhead."

"Amen."

When Eren spoke again he turned serious. "I can help you too if you want me to. You only need to ask. Better not rely on that prick."

"Thank you, but burdening one people is more than enough in my opinion."

"Why would it be a burden?" asked Armin in disbelief. "You might have our back in a fight one day; wouldn't you be more useful and reliable if you had every help you needed during the basics? And neither of us wants to get into the Military Police, so you are not threatening anyone's position in the top ten either. It's important to us that you are in your best shape."

"Armin's right" Eren agreed. "Only the best has a chance against the titans. You have to give your best."

"_The weak has to go_" Amy quoted the boy's words. "I understand."

* * *

Marco was right. He had to talk to Shadis while he could. He would tell him he was pissed at her that day; his words were born from annoyance. He would convince him that he should give Kalmbach another chance.

It was well past the training hours, somewhere around dinner. He heard the showers running when he left the building, along with the colourful swears, cursing the ice cold water. Jean could relate. Marco's words fell on him like a bucket of icy water, freezing him to the bones and never drying up.

Even his friend remained speechless for long minutes. That silence was more deafening than Shadis' humiliating bellows. It gave him too much time alone with his thoughts.

The walk to the wooden lodge was too long and too short at the same time. There wasn't enough time to think up new excuses but it was long enough to make him forget the old ones. When he knocked on the door, which cried under his clenched fist he wasn't even sure why he was there.

The door opened too fast revealing a tired man in glasses. Even though the lenses were covered with fingerprints his red eyes were still visible.

"What is it, Kirschtein?" he yawned not even trying to cover his mouth with his hand. Jean felt the urge to yawn too, but taking a deep breath he swallowed it down.

"I'm here to talk with chief instructor, Keith Shadis, sir."

The man nodded and shouted behind his back. "Oi! Keith! Kirschtein wants to talk to you!"

With that he turned back to the boy.

"There you go."

"Thank you, sir" he said, but the only answer he got was a wave off, before probably returning to his sleep.

Even though he had been here once, he forgot how small the place really was. So when Shadis appeared in the door a few seconds later, towering over him as if he was a titan himself, Jean found it difficult to talk.

"Wondered when you would show up" he grunted before stepping outside closing the door surprisingly quiet behind himself. "Let's not disturb them in there. We can talk outside."

Jean could only nod and step out of his way as he sauntered towards the training grounds. Jean regained his senses and caught up with him quickly. He couldn't afford to fall behind.

Jean was looking for the rights words when Shadis spoke up.

"Let me guess; you didn't mean a word you said."

Jean could only nod his head, his tongue incapable of forming actual words.

Shadis sighed before continuing to walk in silence. They hadn't changed direction, nor did they turn back.

"Marco told you about Emil, didn't he?"

Jean nodded again, only to let the silence engulf them again. They walked for minutes without a word, both of them deep in thoughts. At some point Shadis stopped moving and looked up to the darkening sky. It took another minute for him to break the silence.

"Have you ever wondered that maybe the Wasteland is not a curse?"

Jean looked up, finally founding his voice. "But it's the biggest humiliation."

"_Humiliation_" Shadis snorted. "You are all the same. Thinking you are so smart and know every single thing about the world. Let me tell you this once and for all. You don't know _shit_. You haven't seen a fucking titan in your life. You haven't fought them. I've spent more years killing them than you've spent living your pathetic little life."

"_Humiliation_" he spat again. "Don't throw big words when you don't know the meaning of them. You think the Wasteland is humiliating? Then you haven't seen you friends get eaten in front of you, screaming in agony for your help, while you stood there doing nothing but letting the image of their guts' burn into your head. Standing there, scared shitless, trying not to vomit all over yourself from the stench. Don't you dare to utter that word, before meeting your fallen comrades' families, telling them that you saw them die, but couldn't do anything to save them. That's what humiliation really is. Not getting a fucking chance to get away from this nightmare."

"So tell me, Kirschtein" he turned to the speechless white faced boy. "How many of you do you think will survive the first five year? Do you know what the statistics say? Twenty percent. If three hundred of you graduate that's two hundred and forty dead bodies. Do you truly believe that Kalmbach will be in that twenty percent?"

It was his chance. To tell him to change his mind. To prove him wrong.

But instead Jean silently shook his head, staring at the ground with a stoic expression.

_A silent agreement._

"Don't think that we don't want the best for every one of you" said Shadis his voice softening at the sight of the boy. "This is why I don't care if the people I've put on the carts will despise me for the rest of their lives. I'm not letting them get slaughtered."

Saying his final words he put his hand on Jean's shoulders and squeezed it.

"You now understand why it's important to not lie about these things. Whether you like that person or not, you have to act in their best interest. Even if that means sending them to the Wasteland."

Jean finally found his tongue. "But maybe she'll get better…"

"Or maybe she will get killed" Shadis finished with a grim smile. "There is always a what-if lurking in in the unknown. But this is my problem to live with, not yours."

"I don't know what to do" he whispered.

"Don't look so glum or feel guilty. Concentrate on your training and only that. You have great potential, you hear me?"

Jean nodded and slowly looked up his eyes meeting his imposing ones.

"Cheer up, will ya'? You shouldn't worry your thick stupid head about this for now, just train hard enough to get into that damned Military Police, so none of this will directly affect you."

* * *

Jean's thoughts were filled with guts and blood that night, his dreams haunted by Shadis' words. When the morning assemble came he stood beside Marco in grim silence. His friend was worried, trying to get him look up from the ground and tell him what's wrong.

But he didn't look up.

.

.

.

Not once.

.

.

.

Not when he heard the cries of the exiles.

.

.

.

Nor when he heard the cry of _hers._

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys!**

**This was probably the most difficult chapter so far… I've never written angst before, so I hope it didn't sound fake or was too much. I would be really grateful for some constructive criticism on this part, so I could get better in the future. Whether it's cold or hot please share it with me.**

**Considering the plot, with the next chapter the prologue will officially end, so get ready for some action! I'm really excited about the next two chapters. Also get ready for **_**even more**_** angst. **

**And wow guys, four reviews! Thank you so much Akaneiro, Ivywind, dacymarie and the mysterious unnamed guest too. They really brightened my day! :)**

**And as always: English is not my native language, so if you find a grammar mistake, feel free to correct it!  
**

**Thank you for reading!**


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